So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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