but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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