she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
