I don't usually arrange sex via text message
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Sorry about my life...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
