There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
found the other keg... it's in the tree
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
