You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
