Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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