dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
