Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
