that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
