flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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