Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
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I need you to use more vowels.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize