he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I love you. Go after that dick
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
