There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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