If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
