I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Randomize
