just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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