ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
