I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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