i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
