Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
