just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
