that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
