oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
