very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
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When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
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We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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