Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
third nipple confirmed
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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