I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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