Soap is not a condiment
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
