yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
