Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
