sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
His nipple licking is glorious
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