Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
