Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
