My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
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My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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