Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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