Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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