All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
