that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize