I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
