Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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