It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
no. you can't hotbox the world.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
BRING THE BAGELS
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
