Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
