Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
