BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I want her autograph on my taint
We talked him into tasing himself.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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