Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
