I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
