All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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