You're a womanizer and a bitch.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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