Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
