We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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