hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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