My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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