took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
