I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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