We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
