Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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