this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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