I skipped work to stalk him.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
