well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
